Lilla läppen blå

 
Under gårdagen tog jag en paus från life as we know it och hälsade på hemma
Åt riktig mat. Inte yoghurt, banan och te.
Såg brittiskt drama, somnade i soffan och sov tio timmar.
Min morsa är världens bästa, men kanske inte alltid den skarpaste kniven i lådan.
Vi satt och diskuterade i vilken film vi sett en av skådisarna i dramat och enades om att hon måste haft en roll i Titanic. Morsan tänkte efter en stund och sa:
 
"Från vilket år är Titanic egentligen?"
"Filmen?"
"Ja"
"1997"
"Va..."
"Ja?"
"1897 menar du väl..."
JA, MAMMA.
CAMERON PRODUCERADE TYP DEN FETASTE CINEASTUPPLEVELSEN EVER (TO DATE) NÄR HANS MORSA INTE ENS VAR FÖDD, ÄN MINDRE PÅTÄNKT.
 
Pussgurka.
Smooch.
 
Och efter ovanstående observation av den gemytliga vardagen i förorten kan alla småbarn gå och lägga sig, för nu kommer fula ord i kombinationer som kan framkalla mardrömmar.
 
Lite trendspotting.
Undertecknad har med mer eller mindre uttalad skepsis insett att upplevelsen av vara kränkt är det nya svarta. Trender överlag brukar inte vara min grej eftersom jag eftersträvar att vara så svår som möjligt (sarkasm, hörru), men en touch av kränkthet hade förmodligen inte varit all bad. Alla är det ju. Och en del skriver till och med böcker om det. Om hur vardagen och andra människor inkräktar på LIVET och hur allting är pest, kolera och fullblown AIDS i deras Abercrombieklädda vinterkroppar. Att ta illa vid sig, oavsett anledningen till det, är extremt hett. Med detta in mind tänkte jag ta tillfället i akt att diskutera en viss pseudoförfattare som i dagarna gett ut en liten skrift om hur han är gul på utsidan. Tack och lov vet typ ingen vem det är (än), men min aversion är som en cementklump över bröstet varje gång han sitter i teve och beklagar sig över att folk frågar honom från vilket han land hand kommer, EGENTLIGEN.
 
Är nyfikenhet förbjudet?
Ska man förtrycka biologiska funktioner som sin nyfikenhet bara för att en del människor annars riskerar att hamna i ett pretentiöst kokainmissbruk i Malmö? (Som om man inte hamnar i det oavsett, det är Malmö vi snackar om, peeps)
Får man inte lov att fråga om någon är adopterad? (Är det verkligen den värsta frågan du kan få i ditt liv? Snälla, rara, söta)
Måste man välja att må dåligt över att ett visst sorts godis heter Kinapuffar, när man inte ens kommer från Kina själv, men Korea är close enough, uppenbarligen.
 
(Hyperventilationspaus).
 
Såhär äre’:
jag är blondin. Måhända från en flaska from time to time, men ändå. Jag mår också dåligt. Varje gång jag ser BlondinBella halvnaken med trippla D-kupor på glansiga tidningsomslag, varje gång jag hör Anna Anka låta som om hon har en, ursäkta, kuk i svalget när hon gurgelskrattar, varje gång jag står i kö bakom fjortonåriga tjejer med platinablont plattångshår på gymmet som inte använder löpbandet när jag vill springa. [Cue; ironi] Min vardag är ett helvete. Överallt dessa jävla blondier som kränker mig - jag står snart inte ut. Jag sitter hemma och vill skära mig själv, jag får lust att utveckla ett fullskaligt alkoholmissbruk med inslag av benso (såklart), jag vill färga håret för att inte förknippas med dessa avarter. Men vet du vad? Jag skiter i det. Jag behöver inte vara kränkt. Jag måste inte känna att kokain är den enda vägen ut. Jag får inte automatiskt lust att söka efter det blonda anlagets sanna ursprung för att bli säkrare i min identitet som blondin. Jag känner inte hjärtat springa i bröstet varje gång någon har förutfattade meningar om min intelligens, EFTERSOM JAG ÄR INFÖRSTÅDD MED ATT MAJORITETEN AV MÄNNISKORNA MAN MÖTER UNDER SITT LIV INTE BRYR SIG ETT DYFT OM NÅGON ANNAN ÄN SIG SJÄLV.
De menar oftast inget illa, de menar ju ingenting alls.
För de vet ingenting alls.
 
Vilket inte borde vara betryggande, men i detta fallet är det just det. När en lågintelligent människa frågar: var kommer du ifrån?, är denne individ bara en slav under simpla instinkter som just nyfikenhet. Deras sinnen uppfattar att något ter sig avvikande från gängse norm. Kanske sneda ögon, kanske en annan hudfärg, kanske kläder som inte är från Zgander (hahaha). Eftersom vi inte är hundar luktar vi inte varandra i röven för att säga "hej, vem är du?". Vi ställer helt enkelt dumma frågor istället.
 
Förståndiga personer tar detta med ett fucking saltkar, okej. Man skriver inte en bok, man gråter inte ut hos Malou von Sivers som inte ens ser oss genom alla lager av mascara och år av ansiktslyft, man försöker inte tvinga nationella chokladproducenter att ändra namnet på ett godis bara för att JUST DET hade fått kränktheten att krypa tillbaka in i mörkret. (Det handlar om något helt annat - själva rätten att bli kränkt, den är mer värd än allt annat. Känslan av att kränkas riktigt jävla ordentligt, åh, ge mig. Så sjukt härligt, bah, jag mår dåligt, jag måste få säga det till någon som låtsas lyssna, och sedan kan vi samstämmigt beklaga hur illa behandlad jag blivit, och varför inte tjäna en hacka på det när vi ändå är i farten?).
 
Spänn av.
 
Det är okej att bli sårad. Det händer ibland, fast till slut har man liksom hårdare hud/mentalt kevlar och då bryr man sig inte längre. Men kränkt?
Vad har man att bli kränkt över i Sverige i dagens samhälle?
På riktigt då.
Förslag mottages tacksamt.
 
/Got your back Jack;
bitches be crazy.
 

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